In this article you will learn
What can dads do in the delivery room , what should you avoid and how can you prepare for this special moment?
Birth is a very emotional moment – if not THE most emotional moment in life. At least that was the case for me!
Curious? Then read the following article!
Dads in the delivery room – Preparatory measures
Congratulations, your partner is pregnant and you are going to be a dad! This is a very exciting and thrilling time that you are probably going through right now. What can you do to make the best „good“ Being a dad in the delivery room?
We fathers usually play a rather “less important” role in the delivery room, but of course we have to be there for our partners as much as possible and support them.
Very important: talk about everything! And before that.
Depending on how long you've known each other, you may know what your partner calms down in stressful situations. But even if you think you know your partner inside and out, you should definitely talk about everything in advance. So you are well prepared in an emergency and can act directly without having to discuss in the delivery room. When the contractions are strong, speaking is often not very relaxed.
Another good measure is a joint birth preparation course.
Back then, I wanted to be part of everything. With every ultrasound, every examination, no matter how small. Of course, this also applies to the birth preparation course. As a couple, we booked a compact course over a weekend. The dads should also be made fit for the delivery room there.
We just let it come to us. It was also quite interesting. Above all, we wanted to get to know like-minded people and exchange ideas. And afterwards we also knew what Lena definitely didn't want: to be massaged during the birth and that I should come up with the idea of panting along.
Another important point. Knowing what your partner does NOT want.
You can also help your partner pack the hospital bag. You can pack some snacks for yourself.
For us, of course, it didn't start in the morning as desired, but in the evening. Lena hadn't eaten anything yet. So at 1am I ordered pizza to the delivery room. Anything goes.
By the way, good preparation also includes knowing the shortest route to the hospital. And the number of the transport if you don't have your own car.
+++ Are you pregnant and would you like some helpful tips on how to stay fit, in a good mood and healthy to enjoy your pregnancy? Then download our free pregnancy guide now, with the 5 best insider tips for a feel-good pregnancy! Click here’to download it. +++
Your task in Delivery room
In the delivery room, the mother-to-be and the midwife actually take care of the birth. The doctors are there for the medical tasks. And you are at your partner's side and support her through your closeness.
Now the results of your conversations take effect.
Support is something like regularly getting drinks for your partner in the delivery room.
But also simply distracting when the contractions start. Entertain your partner if she wants to.
Another task in the delivery room for you as an expectant dad is: you are the mediator between mom and clinic staff.
We had a lot going on and all delivery rooms were full. Since we were actually in a good mood and Lena is a woman who doesn't “whine”, we didn't see the midwife very often at first. So when Lena needed something, I took on the role of mediator and tried to provide support. That worked out great!
The most important thing is that your partner can get involved in the birth as much as possible and feels safe. If you can help her with that, you're doing a great job!
Of course, every birth is different and so are the processes. Some moms-to-be get relief by shouting loudly. Anything that helps is allowed and shouldn't be embarrassing. What I'm saying is, wonderful things happen in the delivery room. But on the way there are also physical things that can simply happen and cannot be planned for. You will definitely see blood and possibly other bodily fluids. Don't try to play the “tough cool guy”. Otherwise, take a few minutes to yourself.
The “Delivery Room Code”
I found a really great “delivery room code” by the doctor and medical journalist Stefanie Schmid-Altringer, which summarizes the tasks of the expectant dads quite nicely:
Fathers are allowed…
- say when they need a break
- be touched and cry when they feel like it (I cried like a bastard)
- go out and ask for help when they're feeling down
- Drink and eat to stay fit
Fathers don't have to….
- Know everything about childbirth
- Do a lot, because just being there is often enough
- Doing it strong and confident when they're scared
- Taking sole responsibility
Fathers should…
- Take your wife's gut feeling seriously, for example that “something is wrong”
- Be nice to yourself and don't expect too much of yourself
- Encourage and help the woman to persevere
- Praise your wife with words and loving gestures from time to time
+++ Are you pregnant and would you like some helpful tips on how to stay fit, in a good mood and healthy to enjoy your pregnancy? Then download our free pregnancy guide now, with the 5 best insider tips for a feel-good pregnancy! Click here’to download it. +++
After birth
Woohoo, congratulations, you're parents now! As an expectant father, you have already shown in the delivery room that you are a great support to your partner.
If possible, also take time after the birth. Maybe you can take vacation or parental leave?
We have “booked” a family room in the hospital. Because I really wanted to be with Lena and my newborn daughter all the time. That was the most beautiful thing in my life. We were then able to go straight home after two days.
Even after the birth, you can still give your partner great support. Cook her something delicious, take your baby for a walk, sing to him and bond with your child!
By loading the video, you accept YouTube's privacy policy.
Learn more
Load video
Always unblock YouTube